There is NO wagon

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Something I’ve heard a fair bit the last
few weeks, is “the wagon”.

People “falling off” this mysterious wagon,
often on a Monday,

something we build in our heads as a
super fast vessel to get us pronto, to where we want to be.

But let me tell you;
– why it’s incorrect,
– could cause more damage long term,
– how you improve choices.

Firstly, there is no wagon.
It always seems to be around food and drink on a Monday,
it’s never;

“I’ve fallen off the wagon, and not been out with friends,
I’ve fallen off the wagon and not looked at my emails,
I’ve fallen off the wagon and forgotten to take the kids to their clubs”

End of the day, what is IS, is choices.

Anytime we have too many days drinking,
have a few takeaways etc,
they’re all choices, WE made,
but if we tell ourself “We’ve fallen off the wagon”

internally, (our ‘internal dialogue’)

starts a fight with itself.

“Told you, you never stick to things – knew you couldn’t make right choices” etc etc

This is in turn knocks our confidence,
and ability to plan, and make better choices initially.

The odd choice here and there,
either good or bad,

has minimal impact on our longer term plans and happiness.

But if this see-saw and choices start to
regularly favour the weekday drinks,
missed gym sessions, more meals out,
and vending machine treats, what happens?

THIS starts to become our NEW habit and routine.

It’s at this point we need to stop.
Workout what ISN’T working for us,
and plan some SMALL steps we can take,
to start the shift back the other way on the see-saw,
to get things working for us again.

** What’s a priority to you and Why?
** What things do you need to reduce to improve this?
** What things do you need to implement to improve this?
** What step can you take NOW, to start the tilt on the see-saw.

Nothing is ever permanent.
Both good and bad.

But if habits and routines have started
to “set” for you, and they’re not serving you,
then maybe you need to stop,
take stock and follow the steps above?

Hope it helps,
and enjoy your choices this weekend!

Mark

P.S. My ever successful SUPER-CHARGED 21 day LGFG plan is open for the 8th October round.
If you want some accountable, help, and guidance to bring in some amazing
habits and routines, then come on over – http://www.theweightlosstips.co.uk/look-great-feel-great/

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You DON’T need more motivation or willpower

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Motivation and Willpower
 
2 things we often are told,
or feel we need more of,
 
or are the things that let us down!
 
 
Thing is, they are both inverse to each other.
 
Your willpower is like your phone battery.
You only have so much of it,
and it gets drained throughout the day, dependant
on how often you draw on it.
 
 
Motivation levels dictate how much willpower
you’ll draw upon.
 
 
Here’s why………….
 
If you’re motivated to do something,
you’ll need minimal willower to carry it out,
and likely just do it.
 
Then vice versa for actions and tasks
you feel un-motivated to do – you’ll need willpower.
 
 
Therefore it’s crazy to rely on both long term,
to do the things you want or need,
as it’s all “about your battery – and unreliable!
 
 
 
So what’s the answer?
 
 
1) Know what you’re trying to achieve (personal or work)
and WHY you’re doing it. What would it mean to complete or
achieve it?
 
2) Don’t go too big. Again, deciding to implement
something which is a big step up
will draw on both willpower and motivation.
 
Might happen about 1 in 5 attempts,
and isn’t a sustainable long term option.
 
3) Therefore….. work out “What is the NEXT SMALL step I can take from where I’m at, at the moment to move forward”.
Whatever you come up with, go smaller, and then do THAT,
but often.
 
 
Why?
 
Well, because small steps
don’t draw or require motivation.
don’t draw on willower.
are sustainable as they don’t place demand on us daily.
 
 
Make sense?
SMALL STEPS REPEATED OFTEN WON’T NEED MOTIVATION OR WILLPOWER
AND WILL YIELD BETTER RESULTS LONG TERM.
 

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This weeks thoughts

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Friday summary and thoughts from the week
1) Don’t spend too long in your head.
The more you sit with a problem, the more
your brain will sieve through past stories
and happenings to make it appear real,
to bring more questions and thoughts to the situation
Equally it can have positive benefits if you’re
planning something exciting or a new venture,
the more you “sit” with the thought, the more options
will come to you.
Get EVERYTHING concerning out of your head,
and down on paper – you can then address them
externally and with logic, rather than emotional feelings.
2) Apprehensive about making a decision
Do it. Too often, like the above, people will sit,
internally with the thoughts, and won’t follow up with action.
The “Could do…..” internal thoughts rather than the action
taking, external process of “I Will do…….”
Again, write down what needs to change, reduce or implement,
and then take the first steps to remove
the apprehension and overwhelm
READY.
FIRE.
AIM.
Start with action, you can always re-evaluate and change
the route later down the line, but taking the
first ACTION steps is what will bring the initial
change, NOT the thoughts over it
3) Small things become HUGE at night !
Steady.
If you’re struggling to sleep – it’s often because you’re
overthinking things.
Like #1 the more you hold in your head, the more
active your brain will be.
Grab a pen and paper and brain dump everything;
Tasks
Lists
Thoughts
Jobs
etc
It really doesn’t matter if you don’t take any further action,
you just need to “shift” these thoughts from the
“whirlpool” section of the brain that will
look to access more ideas about it.

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Quick lesson learnt

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Got/had a very simple lesson yesterday.
 
The end of year school reports came home,
and for my eldest who is in her last year
before Secondary school, her SATS results too!
 
Thankfully they were great, but her Maths ones
had certainly improved from the last year, and
I asked her;
 
“What do you think you did to improve?”
(and made sure it was in front of her
younger sister who is like a sponge
for soaking things up at 8, even though she might not look like she’s listening!!!)
 
“Well, if I wasn’t sure on something, I asked – either a teacher or a friend near me”.
 
Simple.
Obvious.
But something we often don’t do around some situations.
 
Because, “The more time you spend IN your head, the more overwhelmed you’ll feel”.
 
If we’re unsure of something,
sitting with it will not only reduce confidence,
but it will bring frustration and overwhelm due to a lack of clarity,
 
Yet when we have clarity around a situation,
we know what’s expected, what we need to do,
or what steps to take, we have confidence.
 
Take a think back to the last time you
lacked confidence or had concern over something ………….
I bet it was because you were
lacking CLARITY on what was the next step or outcome?
 
 
The mind is a complex thing –
but try to operate more from the “External” you than the “Internal” one 🙂
Hope the little story helps/resonates

 

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Could do or Will Do

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2 phrases, but very different meanings and actions.
————————————————-

I’ve had a few conversations recently and the former “Could” has come up a few times.

Over the last 10 days, I’ve spoken to a number of people who were struggling in one way or another;

– Sticking to foods they KNOW they should be eating more of
– Exercising more than they currently are
– Working less than they currently are
– Doing things they WANT to be doing, but find ‘reasons/excuses’ not to be doing them.

During the conversation I help them bring forward their excuses (as often that’s what it is! Stories we’ve built up in our heads as to WHY we can’t do something), or help them find openings and opportunities to move forward with what they WANT to do (It’s what I do well 🙂 ),

and quite often my following question is;

————–
“So what do you think you could do right NOW to move you closer to what we’ve just talked about?”
————–

and 99 times out of 100 it’s

“Well, I could do xxxxxxx………” 🙂

So why aren’t you then?
So can you do that now?!

And that really is the success to moving forward.
Having someone help you move the “Bullshit fog” out of the way that’s clouding options, thoughts, decisions and direction,
and then helping you implement the “DO” – rather than sitting with too many “Could’s” .

So what are you gonna DO today or this week?!

P.S. One slot left on my “Doing” plan starting Monday if you want some help with ^^^ that.  http://www.theweightlosstips.co.uk/fit-mind-body-plan/

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